I have never been physically huge, but I’ve ALWAYS struggled with my self image. In my family, thin was a way of life. My mom berated my dad when he became overweight and shamed him with the candy wrappers she found in his car. My oldest sister struggled with her weight until adulthood. My other sister was bulimic and she passed away in her 40’s. I have always loved to eat, (just like my dad), and also suffer from hypoglycemia when my blood sugar drops causing true “hanger” (hunger + anger) since way before that was a thing.
Starting in my twenties I bounced from one new diet to the next. Atkins, South beach, Suzanne Somers, Weight Watchers, The Whole30, Paleo and everything in between!!! I’ve never lasted. I was often motivated yet lacked what I thought was “will power”. I’d lose a few pounds, then cheat as a reward…before I knew it I was eating Cheetos and Costco hot dogs. Seriously! I was raised with an awareness of healthy eating, however more processed and fast foods than I considered healthy had snuck their way onto my plate.
My big awakening came when I was simultaneously taking a nutrition class, and working out with a trainer at the gym. I told the trainer I’d like to lose a few. She sent me her version of what I call a starvation diet. It was then that I had my “aha” moment! I refused to start another plan that I was doomed to fail. I decided to take matters into my own hands. I already knew so much about nutrition, portion control, and clean eating from years of personal research, trial and error. I already had a lot of experience with cooking having graduated from culinary school in the 90’s. I decided to weave the pieces together that made the most intuitive sense to me. Clean-ish Living became the core of how I cook and eat and has irrefutably changed my relationship with food forever.